Pushing Daisies
by DoitsuDeutschland
Summary: What if you had the ability to bring the dead back to life, but the misfortune to kill them all over again with a simple touch? Welcome to the life of Ludwig, The Pie Maker, and the boy he brought to life. Gertalia


If there is one thing people should know about me it's that I LOVE Pushing Daisies, it is my favorite show and I was pissed when it got canceled.

Anyway, so a while ago I was re-watching my DVDs and in my mind I kept seeing Ludwig as Ned and Feliciano as Chuck. And so I then started to pick characters to play other ones and then I decided just to write out a story.

Summery: What if you had the ability to bring the dead back to life, but the misfortune to kill them all over again with a simple touch? Welcome to the life of Ludwig, the pie maker, and the boy he brought to life.

I own nothing; the script comes from a PD site. Both Pushing Daisies and Hetalia belong to their respective owners.

Warning: minor cussing, character death and reanimation, weird stuff

NOTE! The characters are based on personality or just randomness. Ludwig acts a lot like Ned while Feliciano is like Chuck. I've made Gilbert Emerson due to how awesome both of them are and Francis is Olive due to the way they are… well… themselves. One-shot characters (with a few exceptions) will stay the same, like Ned's mother will be Ludwig's for this. BTW, if you haven't guessed, the coroner is Lovino; I needed a smart-alec like him to play a guy like the coroner. Also, Katsuya is Ukraine and Kim Yong Soo (I don't know how Korean names work) is North Korea (there is a reason for this that will be told in a later chapter)

NOTE II! Originally I wanted Ludwig to make cake rather then pie, but I liked to just keep it as him being the Pie Maker since it makes more sense with the show.

NOTE III! Chuck is Jewish in the show, so I made Feliciano Jewish too, but I let him also be Roman Catholic because he's Italian.

Pairings: Gertalia, PrUk (you'll see why later) one-sided Germany/ France

_This is to indicate that the narrator is speaking along with audio from the television, you can tell the difference when you read on._

On with the fic!

* * *

**Pushing Daisies **

**Chapter one: Pie-lette**

* * *

_At this very moment in the town of Coeur d'Coeurs, young Ludwig was 9 years, 27 weeks, 6 days and 3 minutes old. _

In a beautiful field of yellow flowers and daisies, a young blond-haired boy was running through it, a huge smile on his face as he chased a fluffy golden retriever.

_His dog, Aster, was 3 years, 2 weeks, 6 days, 5 hours and 9 minutes old. And not a minute older._

It was so fast, Aster ran out of the field and into the road where truck was driving by and that was that. Ludwig watched in horror at the sight before him and rushed to his dog's side, seeing him lying there, not breathing. Getting on his knees, the boy reached out to touch his dead dog's face, but suddenly, to his shock, Ludwig watched as Aster open his eyes and sit up with a start before happily running off again.

Ludwig was confused but decided that whatever happened, happened, and went after his dog once more. Unbeknownst to the boy and his dog, a squirrel fell from a tree after a minute since Ludwig touched his dog. That squirrel had died.

_This was the moment that young Ludwig discovered that he wasn't like the other children: nor was he like anyone else, for that matter. Young Ludwig could touch dead things and bring them back to life._

* * *

His eyes watched as a lone fly flew around the kitchen before landing near the windowsill, before a flyswatter killed it. Ludwig watched his mother kill the little insect before walking away to work on the pie she was making.

Reaching out from his position at the counter, young Ludwig touches the little dead fly, just as his mother starts the timer for her pie, and watches as the fly comes to life once more and flies away from him.

_This gift was a gift given to him, but not by anyone in particular. There was no box, no instructions, no manufacturer's warranty: it just was. The terms of use weren't immediately clear, nor were they of immediate concern: young Ludwig's was in love. _

Looking out the window, young Ludwig's blue-eyes caught the attention of a young boy, dressed as a green dinosaur, with short brown-hair and a curl, playing in a make-shift city with little Play-Doh people as his father worked in the yard.

_His name was Feli. At this very moment, he was 8 years, 42 weeks, 3 hours and 2 minutes old. Young Ludwig did not think of his as being born or hatched or conceived in any way: Feli came ready-made from the Play-Doh Fun Factory of Life._

Feli looked up from talking to one of his little Play-Doh figures to see Ludwig standing in front of him, a smile on his face as he was dressed in a red pterodactyl outfit similar to his green outfit. As they looked at one another, they both smiled wickedly and decided to act like monsters and destroy the city and the little people.

_In their imaginations, young Ludwig and a boy named Feli conquered the world. _In which they happily believed that they were real monsters, killing all those people they stepped on and kicked, enjoying their little game.

Soon Ludwig went home where his mother dusted him with a broom to get the dirt and grim off from his playtime with the boy across the street. His eyes are not on his mother, but on Feli who is being cleaned off with a hose that his father was using on him as he water the yard.

_Long after their playdate was over, young Ludwig remained under Feli's spell. _

THUD!

_Until a blood vessel in his mother's brain burst, killing her instantly._

Blinking, Ludwig turned to see that his mother had fallen to the ground, stone cold dead. He stared at her before walking over, getting down and doing as he had done with Aster and the fly.

He touched her.

In an instant, she sat right up, looking confused but smiled anyway. "Must've slipped-clumsy," she said to herself as she stood up, "did the time go off?" It was as if she didn't know that she had died and so she simply went to the over to pull her freshly baked pie from the oven.

_Young Ludwig's random gift that was, came with a caveat or two._

He didn't feel comfortable with seeing his mother die and come back to life like that, so he turned back to the window, seeing the Feli was no longer outside and that it was just his father, Roma Vargas, still out there with the hose.

But the moment he heard that the timer had finished its last minute, the ding went off and at that moment, Roma Vargas fell over, dead. Young Ludwig's mother has witness her neighbors death, the pie she held falling from her hands and smashing on the floor.

_It was a gift that not only gave – it took._

_Young Ludwig discovered that he could only bring the dead back to life for one minute without consequence; any longer, and someone else had to die._

The death of Feli's father seemed to bother poor Ludwig, was it his gift that killed the man when he brought his mother to life? Watching the coroner take the man's body from the house across the street that night made him feel even worse.

_In the grand universal scheme of things, young Ludwig had traded his mother's life for Feli's father._

He continued to think on this subject as he was getting ready for bed, and just as his mother gave him a good night kiss, she froze up and fell backwards onto the hard floor with a thud.

_But there was one more thing about touching dead things that young Ned didn't know … and he learned it in the most unfortunate way …_

Blinking, Ludwig got out of bed and saw that his mother had died once more, so he did as he had done before, he touched her.

But nothing happened, she was still dead.

_First touch: life. Second touch: dead again, forever._

Shortly after his mother's second passing, Ludwig was attending her funeral that was next to someone else's. _After a brief mourning period, young Ludwig's father would hustle him off to boarding school, never to be seen again_.

Ludwig's eyes looked over at the other funeral, catching Feli's eyes as he stood at his father's funeral._ Feli would be fostered by Aunts Elizabeta and Katsuya, a renowned synchronized swimming duo: they shared matching personality disorders and a love for fine cheese._

They continued to look at one another before walking away from the wakes, until they stood in front of one another as the sunset shown behind them. They continued to stare at one another until they leaned forward and kissed one another before pulling away and walking away from one another.

_At their respective parents' funerals, dizzy with grief, curiosity and hormones, young Ludwig and a boy named Feli had their first and only kiss. _

_After his mother's death, Ludwig avoided social attachments, fearing what he'd do if someone else he loved died._

_And he became obsessed with pies. Its 19 years, 34 weeks, 1 day and 59 minutes later, heretofore known as "Now." Young Ludwig has become The Pie Maker. _

Ludwig was standing in a restaurant where he picked up a rotten strawberry that turned to a beautiful plump fresh one. He smirked as he watched this, standing in his little pie shop/ restaurant cleverly called The Pie Hole.

_And this is where he makes his pies: the peaches never brown, the dead fruit in his hands becomes ripe with everlasting flavor … as long as he only touches it once._

* * *

Francis Bonnefoy smiled as he stood in his waiter uniform, a little notebook in hand as he looked at the customer in the booth. "Every day I come in, I pick a pie, I concentrate all my love on that pie. 'Cause if I love it, someone else is gonna love it, and y'know what? By the end of the day, I've sold more of those pies than any other of the pies in the bakery."

The man in the booth, an albino, looked at him with a fake smile on his face. "Yeah? What pie do you love today?" He asked, humoring the blond.

"Rhubarb." Francis smiled at him.

With a flat look on his face, the other handed back his menu. "I'll stick with Three Plum. Á la mode." Francis pouted at this but took the menu and walked away.

_Gilbert Beilschmidt was the sole keeper of The Pie Maker's secret. And this is how he came to be the sole keeper of The Pie Maker's secret: a private investigator, Mr. Beilschmidt met The Pie Maker when his Pie Hole was on the verge of financial ruin._

While chasing a suspect across some rooftops, he didn't know he was near the back alley of The Pie Hole. The suspect turns to see Gilbert chasing after him and getting close, which in turn makes him miss the jump to get across the alley.

The man falls to his untimely death, hitting the large dumpster. But as he bounces back from the reaction of hitting the dumpster with his chest, his hand brushes against Ludwig, who had just came out to throw away some trash, bringing him to life once more.

The suspect and Ludwig just stare at one another for a moment, both surprised, but the suspect gets over his shock and starts to run. Ludwig snaps out of his confusion and dives for the man, touching the back of his head just as he reached the entrance of alley. Ludwig shook in disgust as he stepped away from the body, only to look up to see a confused Gilbert staring at him from the top of the alley.

_Mr. Beilschmidt proposed a partnership: murders are much easier to solve when you can ask the victim who killed them. The Pie Maker reluctantly agreed_.

Back in the present, said Pie Maker was sitting in Gilbert's booth, looking at him with a slightly bothered expression. "I asked you not to use the word "zombie": it's disrespectful, stumbling around squawking for brains, it's not how they do. And "undead", nobody wants to be un- anything. Why begin a statement with the negative? It's like saying "I don't disagree": just say "You agree"."

Gilbert looked at him, a bit annoyed. "Are you comfortable with "living dead"?" He asked and Ludwig still looked bothered.

"You're either living or you're dead: when you're living, you're alive, when you're dead, that's what you are; but when you're dead and then you're not, you're alive again. Can't we say "alive again"? Doesn't that sound nice?" The blond gave a weak and nervous smile, knowing that Gilbert didn't really give two shits about this.

"Sounds like you're narcoleptic."

"I suffer from sudden and uncontrollable attacks of deep sleep?" Ludwig blinked, confused by the reply.

"What's the other one?"

"Necrophilia."

"Words that sound alike get mixed up in my head."

"Me, too! I used to think masturbation meant chewing your food." Both turned to see that Francis had decided to chime in, the smile the blond had died as he noticed the weird expressions the other two had. "I don't think that anymore."

Ludwig looked at the waiter he had hired a while ago. "Can you lock the door behind you?" He asked and Francis did, a bit confused with what he had just missed. Once Francis was out of sight and earshot, Ludwig turned back to Gilbert.

"So, you want in on this opportunity or not?" Gilbert asked, speaking of a new case he had that he needed the other for. "A dog is involved." At hearing this, Ludwig's dog Aster looked up from his spot of the floor next to his dear master and whined.

"What kind of dog?" Asked The Pie Maker, looking at his partner.

"It's gonna be a dead dog: dead dog named Cantaloupe. They're putting her down- allegedly killed her owner."

"When you say "allegedly" …" Ludwig started, skepticism in his voice.

"Cantaloupe was framed. Someone put part of the victim in her mouth." Gilbert replied with a bit of annoyance.

"Huh." The other didn't really seem convinced and that annoyed Gilbert some more.

"Hey, docile as a kitten, says the family." He pulled a picture of the dog out, a Chow.

Ludwig looked at the photo and then up at the albino, a bit of a smile on his face. "Despite it being a Chow, the breed most likely to turn on its owner?"

Gilbert looked offended at this. "Hey, that's racial profiling! Lookee here: if the dog is innocent, then it's murder. And if it's murder, there's a reward." He smirked at his comrade with the magic touch.

* * *

_The facts were these: one Leonard Gaswint, 39 years, 42 weeks, 5 days, 3 hours and 26 minutes old, was found mauled to death in his home office. His dog, Cantaloupe, was the sole witness and only suspect in the murder. _

At this moment, the dog in question is currently locked up in a dog pound while the family of Leonard wants to know who murdered the man with a reward of $20,000._ Convinced of his innocence, the Gaswint family offered a significant reward to find the real killer. _

Looking up at the two men who walked into his office, the coroner didn't seem to trust them or what Gilbert had said about the blond that stood next to him. "You the dog expert?" He asked, his Italian accent a bit obvious as he glared at them.

"Uh-huh." Ludwig replied, his reply sounding a bit too stiff.

"Already had a dog expert."

With an unconvincing tone, Ludwig spoke up. "I'm the, uh, other one."

The coroner just gave him a look. "Mmm-hmm." He let the two in anyway to take a look. Once inside, Gilbert stood a bit of a distance away as Ludwig looked under the sheet of the table that the victim was on. He made a slight face at what he saw.

"How does he look?" Gilbert asked.

"Fine, but my threshold's pretty high, so you have to take what I say with a grain of salt."

Gilbert raised an eyebrow and walked over, taking a look and grimaces. "That ain't a grain of salt: that's one of them blocks they give cows to lick."

"He can't help how he is."

"That doesn't make it any less traumatic."

Ludwig raised an eyebrow. "For who?"

"Me. And I'm sure him, but mainly me. I'm gonna wait outside." With that, Gilbert walked out of the morgue, leaving Ludwig to his work. Pulling back his sleeve, Ludwig starts the timer on his watch and quickly touches Leonard's body, the man sitting up with a start on one of his elbows and smiling at Ludwig, though it's an odd smile since the man is missing his entire right cheek.

"Hello." Leonard greets at the slightly bothered looking blond who gets right to work.

"Sorry to disturb you, Mr. Gaswint. Or, do you prefer Leonard or…"

"Leo!" The dead man replied with a chipper tone.

Ludwig only nods to this. "Leo, um, your current condition…" He gestures at his own cheek and the other blinks, confused by the action and begins to imitate Ludwig.

"Do I have something right here?"

There is a slight pause and Ludwig keeps a straight face, stopping his earlier actions. "No. There's nothing right there."

"Damn dog…" This cause Ludwig to perk up a little.

"Cantaloupe?"

Leo shook his head at this question. "No, no, Cantaloupe's docile as a kitten. It's that Rottweiler: my secretary sicced her dog on me. She's been upset since last year's Christmas party." The man then smiles just as Ludwig looks at his watch" Y'know, it's a funny story, I-!" With a simple touch, Leo went back to being dead and Ludwig goes out into the coroner's office.

"Was it the Chow?" The brunet in the room asked, looking at The Pie Maker.

"The secretary." Ludwig then quickly adds, "With a Rottweiler." Again, the coroner just gives him a look a 'Mmm-hmm' follows the look.

_Her good name cleared and her execution stayed, Cantaloupe was freed, and the secretary and her Rottweiler were hauled to justice._

At the apartment of one Francis Bonnefoy, said man was sitting on his bed with his boss' dog, watching on the news of the case that Ludwig and Gilbert had solves, seeing the secretary and her dog being led away as the newscaster spoke.

'_An anonymous tip led to solving the murder of a Michigan entrepreneur thought to be mauled to death by a family pet. The truth, however, is much more sinister-'_

_Francis Bonnefoy enjoyed his time with Aster: he was a surrogate for the human connection he wanted with The Pie Maker. His desperate attempts to connect to someone so disconnected terrified him. But that didn't stop him from trying._

A sudden knock at the door alerted the both of them and Francis got up, walking to his front door to find his neighbor/boss standing there, and so he let's Ludwig walk in. "How was your convention?" He asked as he looked at the blond man he was crushing on.

"Conventional." Came the simple reply as Ludwig looked at his long time companion from his childhood. "How was Aster?"

"Neurotic." Francis sighed and walked over after closing the door. "He's a very needy dog. Do you pet him?" He asked as he poked the other man. "Maybe if you pet him once in a while, he wouldn't be so neurotic."

"I pet him. I'm allergic, so I can't actually touch him, but I pet him." Ludwig responded but Francis didn't like that response.

"With a stick? How do you pet him?"

"A stick is involved, but it's a handle to a, uh, petting device." His words become uneasy as Francis walked close to him, causing him to back until and he almost stumbled over the coffee table.

"A dog needs to be touched." Francis spoke, but he then changed his tone to a seductive one which made Ludwig uncomfortable. "We _all_ need to be touched."

Ludwig blushed and swallowed a growing lump in his throat at the uneasiness of the situation at hand. "You touch him- other people touch him."

"He's _your_ dog." Francis replied as he got on his coffee table, standing before Ludwig in his bathrobe and slippers, curlers in his hair, his hands on the baker's shoulders. "Do you… touch anything?"

This just seemed to make things worse for the taller blond who was very uncomfortable. "Of course, I, uh, I touch lots of things?"

"Affection- when was the last time someone touched _you _with affection?"

Ludwig couldn't help but stutter as he replied. "I get touched. Can you get Aster's leash now?" Francis sighed and rolled his eyes, getting off the coffee table and walking into his kitchen. When Francis was out of earshot, Ludwig turned to his furry friend. "You don't mind that I don't touch you, do you?" He got a whine from the dog as a response.

_And then came the event that changed everything…_

Ludwig's eyes darted to the television when something came up on the news, there was footage of a man's body being lifted out of the ocean as the reporter spoke. _'In the news, the body of a young man allegedly murdered aboard a cruise ship has been recovered from the sea. The victim's identity is being withheld-'_

_The Pie Maker listened intently to the news, unaware that he stopped breathing. He was haunted by the name of this man who met his end on the high seas._

"Here's your leash." Francis spoke as he walked over, but noticed that Ludwig was not listening to anything but the television.

_But he didn't know why. _

Ludwig has left with Aster, going to The Pie Hole where he sat in the kitchen, using a wooden/ mechanical hand and stick to scratch his dog's head, with the television on and continued to watch the news coverage of this mysterious man.

'_His name still withheld,' _The newscaster said,_ 'very little is known about the victim apparently traveling alone when murdered aboard a passenger ship that was returning from a tropical cruise, sailing between the United States and Tahiti. The ship's captain initially dismissed the death as an accident, suggesting that the victim likely returned from a late night out-'_

A sudden knock at the front doors of the eating establishment alerted Ludwig, looking through the open hole in the wall of the kitchen to see that it was Gilbert. Once inside, the two sat at the counter, drinking coffee and not looking at one another.

"Been watching the news lately?" Gilbert asked, being the first to speak since they sat down.

"It doesn't seem like much going on in the world besides a dead boy on a boat."

"A lot going on with dead boy." Gilbert rolled his eyes at the 'comment-about-the-weather tone the blond next to him had spoken in.

"That so?"

"Mmm-hmm, $50,000 worth of "That so". You interested in a conversation?"

A slight pause and Ludwig turned to look at the other. "I could be persuaded."

This put a bit of a smirk on the albino's face. "Well, you'd better be persuaded quick, 'cause the dead boy's about to go into the ground."

"They just pulled him out of the water…" Ludwig was a bit confused.

"Jewish/ Roman Catholic. Christians leave 'em laying around; others gotta get 'em buried."

"Where we going?"

"Coeur d'Coeurs. Ever been there?"

The name of his hometown made Ludwig shiver a little with uneasiness. "I grew up there. Sort of." He replied quickly. "This dead boy from Coeur d'Coeurs: he have a name?"

"Feliciano Vargas."

Suddenly, Ludwig's mind was filled with his memories of his dead childhood sweetheart and the only word to come from his mouth was:

"Feli."

* * *

_The Pie Maker never returned to Coeur d'Coeurs after being sent away to school, but he thought of Feli every day._

At this very moment, Ludwig and Gilbert were currently sitting on a bus, the blond looking out the window at the large field of yellow flowers and daisies with a sign the stuck out, saying the name of the town that was once his home.

Gilbert looked at the man who was currently lost in thought. "You know this boy?"

"I know _of_ him." Was the response he received.

"Know of him in the biblical sense."

With a sigh, Ludwig continued to look out the window. "I haven't thought of him since I was ten."

"Think of him a lot when you were ten?"

"Don't remember anything when I was ten." Ludwig's right eye twitched at this, which Gilbert noticed but didn't press the subject with the other man.

_The Pie Maker remembers everything. _

_The facts were these: Feliciano Vargas, 28 years, 24 weeks, 3 days, 11 hours and 51 minutes old, was found floating in the ocean, moments after his body was discarded there. Discarded by whom seemed to be a question only Feliciano Vargas could answer._

Our two PIs soon arrived at their destination, the Coeur d'Coeurs Funeral Home where Feliciano's body was. Ludwig was nervous about all this while Gilbert spoke to the funeral director, one Kim Yong Soo, giving him a bit of money as a bribe. The man turned to the both of them and grinned.

"Gentlemen!" Kim Yong grinned at them, loving any chance he could get money, be it a bribe or the money he got in exchange for the valuable he stole off the bodies.

_The funeral director, always eager to supplement his income was more than happy to grant the deceased an audience._

Kim Yong walked them to where the room that Feliciano was lying and soon left them. With a shaky sigh, Ludwig reached for the handle but froze and turned to the other. "I just wanna say I'm sorry for something- one of those stupid things kids do that don't know they're doing."

Gilbert gave him a look but shrugged. "Okay, well, you ask him who killed him first."

"Okay." Ludwig nodded as he watched Gilbert leave, who reminded him that he had one minute with his childhood sweetheart. Opening the door, Ludwig entered the room and then closed it.

Looking over at the casket, he hesitantly approached it and looked inside. Lying within was the boy he loved, only grown-up, beautiful, and dead. He looked at Feliciano, seeing his hair was still the same, the curl forever being present on his head, his face was nicely dolled up, he looked like he was sleeping but Ludwig knew better as he reached out to touch him but stopped and looked at his options of touch.

_Only Prince Charming could know how The Pie Maker felt upon looking at him. Great thought was taken as to where to touch him. _

_The lips, too forward; the cheek … the cheek._

Now that he decided, Ludwig touched the one person he truly loved, and watched as eyes opened, revealing a beautiful chocolate brown. They looked right at him for a few seconds before they narrowed and hands reached up, grabbing Ludwig and slamming his head right onto the lid of the casket, allowing Feliciano a moment to get out of the box and to grab a chair for self-defense.

Ludwig groaned in pain at what just happened. "Ow! Ohh…" He then noticed the chair. "Feli, Wait!" He exclaimed.

"Who are you?" Feliciano asked, still holding the chair up and getting ready to swing when needed.

Quick on his feet, Ludwig responded. "Do you remember a little boy who lived next to you when your dad died?"

"Ludwig?" Feliciano looked at him for a second before smiling and putting down the chair. "Oh, my God, hey! How are you?" He walked over, going to give his old friend a hug, but was stopped when Ludwig help out a hand.

"Good! You look great! Uh, do you know what's happening right now?"

"I had the strangest dream: I was being strangled to death with a plastic sack…"

"You _were_ strangled to death with a plastic sack. It's probably an odd thing to hear- I wasn't sure how to sugarcoat it."

Feliciano looked confused before looking at the casket. "Oh." Then he was struck by realization. "Oh!"

"You only have a minute. Less." Ludwig winced as he looked at the watch he had started before he had touched the boy.

"What could I tell you in less than a minute?"

"You could tell me who killed you so, y'know, justice can be served."

The brunet shrugged at this, with a slight flail of his arms. "Well, that's really sweet but I don't know who killed me. I went to get ice and I dropped my room key in the ice maker, and as I was thinking, "That was dumb…"

_As he was thinking "That was dumb," Feli was strangled to death with a plastic sack._

What happened was while he was getting the ice he wanted and having stupidly dropped his room key into the ice maker and trying to fish it out; a man in black with a ski mask on came up behind him. Before he could understand what was going on, the man in black covered his head in a pink plastic bag, suffocating the poor boy and then tossed his body into the ocean.

"And then you touched my cheek." Feliciano finished, but blinked when he heard a knock at the door to the room. He heard a man whispering harshly the words 'What's going on?' to which Ludwig exclaimed in a panicked voice, 'Just a second!'

"Is my time up?" Feliciano frowned as he looked at The Pie Maker.

Ludwig looked at him, frowning as well. "I'm sorry."

"Well, thanks for calling me Feli. Do you know no one's called me Feli since-? Since you." He smiled softly, making Ludwig blush a bit and speak in a shy way.

"I used to- when I lived next door to you- I had a crush- I was in- you… were my first kiss." He smiled a bit, embarrassed with his works, but that didn't bother Feliciano one bit, he smiled as well.

"Yeah? You were my first kiss, too. You were my last kiss: first and last. Is that weird?" Feliciano asked, thinking over that little tidbit of information from his life.

"That's not weird. It's magical." Ludwig spoke softly and watched as Feliciano closed his eyes, leaning up to kiss him in which Ludwig wished to do the same, but he stopped.

_Feli's minute of life was nearly over. The Pie Maker's lips went as far as they would go: he couldn't will them to go any further._

Somewhere, at this very moment in the building, the funeral director walked into his private bathroom, but soon fell to the floor, dead.

_And as a consequence, the funeral director would go no further._

Feliciano pulled back and opened his eyes, seeing that Ludwig had done the same and he frowned. "If you don't want to kiss me, that's okay, I just thought it might be-'

But he didn't finish the statement since Ludwig started to speak. "I do, I- what if you didn't have to be dead?"

"Well, that would be preferable."

"Nobody can know. Hop in!" He pointed to the casket and Feliciano got right back in. "I've got to think of a way to get you out of here. Can you lie really still until I get back?" He got a nodded and with that, Ludwig went back out into the waiting area where Gilbert was who looked a bit pissed.

"Doesn't know, didn't know." Was what Ludwig told him when he spotted the PI.

"So somebody just threw his carcass over a boat- why are you sweating?" Gilbert crossed his arms, raising an eyebrow.

Ludwig's eye twitched. "I'm- it's warm in there, what?"

"You eye's twitching." Gilbert frowned a bit.

"My eye?" Was the stupid reply he received.

"Your eye is twitching. When people aren't being honest, their eye twitches." He say Ludwig's eye do it again. "Right there! Like yours did just now."

Ludwig was feeling really uncomfortable right now with how Gilbert glared at him like that. "It's nerves." He stated. "Aggravated by a stomach thing: it's like acid reflux, but in my eye. I think I'm gonna stay for the service."

Gilbert didn't believe him. "Is that so?" He then turned and walked towards the door.

"Just feeling nostalgic. Do you remember how to get back to the station? It's down the, um, I'll catch a later bus!" Ludwig shouted as he went back into the room where Feli was, only to fine that the casket is gone, to which he ran out the front doors, just in time to see the hearse take Feliciano away.

Who, by the way, was wondering how he came to be while inside the coffin.

_Lying in the dark, Feliciano considered how he came to be lying in the dark. He considered the life that was with Aunts Elizabeta and Katsuya._

Feliciano's dear aunts, who took him in when his father had died, lived in his house with him. Elizabeta was an old, angry biddy who drank a lot and had one eye while Katsuya was a sweet woman who tended to be happier then her older sister.

_Their personality disorders blossomed into incapacitating social phobias, which made it difficult for them to leave the house. Which in turn made it difficult for Feli to leave them. He served his community by harvesting honey for the homeless. He never strayed far from home. He read about people he could never be, on adventures he would never have. Life was good enough, until one day, it wasn't: Feliciano wanted more. But at Boutique Travel Travel Boutique, he got more than he bargained for._

Soon he was taken to the cemetery where he was placed in a hole in the ground and was about to be buried. But luckily Ludwig came just in time, telling the two gravediggers that their truck was on fire (which it was). Once they were distracted, Ludwig opened the coffin and smiled at Feliciano who smiled back at him.

"Sorry I'm late." He told the boy.

_Only Sleeping Beauty could know how she felt at this moment._

* * *

"I can't even hug you? What if you need a hug? A hug can turn your day around." Feliciano looked at the blond before him in disbelief, making Ludwig wince a bit.

"I'm not a fan of the hug."

Currently, The Pie Maker and the dead boy were sitting at a booth in The Pie Hole, where Ludwig was informing Feliciano of what there was to know about being alive again. Apparently, the no-touch policy wasn't something that Feliciano cared for.

"Then you haven't been hugged properly. A hug is like an emotional Heimlich: they put their arms around you and give you a squeeze and all your fear and anxiety goes shooting out of your mouth like a big, wet wad and you can breathe again."

Ludwig shifted a little, not liking how Feliciano was taking this. "That's fine for someone else to do it I'm chocking on something other than emotion, but you can't touch me."

"So a kiss is out of the question?" Feliciano asked with a slight pout, but noticed that Ludwig seemed to be entranced at hearing this, a little goofy smile was on his face.

"I lost my train of thought."

Feli smiled at this. "How long have you been thinking about this?"

The blond looked right at him, blinking. "Like thinking-thinking? It wasn't premeditated, I wasn't lying in wait, more like I was musing on the idea, not dwelling, although there were times I did dwell on you – about you, a little – but I wasn't seriously considering 'til the exact moment I did it, or didn't do it."

"I always wondered if you'd come back. I guess you came back when I needed you most- well, that would've been before I was killed, but this was worked out."

"You do understand you can't do back, right? You can't see your aunts." He winced slightly at telling the brunet this.

Said brunet pouted a bit. "They'll do off their rockers without me, besides they're shut-ins: it's not like they'll talk to anybody."

"People aren't used to this sort of thing: issues of morality, how come he's not dead anymore, it'd be a disaster."

"Well, I suppose dying's as good as an excuse to start living."

Soon Ludwig left The Pie Hole with Feliciano, taking him to his apartment upstairs, where they were greeted by Aster who was looking up at them.

"This is Aster." Ludwig informed Feli.

The brunet smiled and got down, petting the dog before blinking and turning to look up over his shoulder at Ludwig. "Wasn't you old dog named Aster?"

"This is him."

This made the boy confused as he looked at the other. "Did you-? And now he's-?"

Ludwig put on a sheepish smile which matched his tone of voice. "Yeah."

"You seem to do that a lot." Feliciano spoke as he stood up before facing the taller man. "Why do you do that a lot?"

"It's just the two of you. I hate to be a bad host, but I'm sort of exhausted from chasing your coffin."

"Oh, yeah, of course." Feliciano blushed lightly as he watched Ludwig stretch a bit as he lied on the couch.

"I'm gonna sleep here. You take the bed: I insist." He smiled a bit before lying completely on the couch. "Oh, my eyes are rolling into the back of my head. I'm laying down now."

Feliciano smiled as he headed for the bedroom. "I'd kiss you if it wouldn't kill me." He soon got ready for bed and decided to channel surf before going to sleep, but he kept seeing reports of his death.

'_Twenty-eight year-old, Lonely Tourist Feliciano Vargas was laid to rest earlier today-'  
_

'_He is survived by his aunts, Katsuya and Elizabeta Vargas-'_

In a strange bed, watching his own funeral on the evening news, Feli was struck by the undignified nature of celebrity. No one wants to be famous for the way they died.

'Boutique Travel Travel Boutique has offered a $50,000 reward in the murder of Feliciano Vargas.'

"Ludwig?" The sudden voice woke the blond up; he turned a bit to see that Feliciano was looking at him. "Would I be alibe right now if I know who killed me?"

Ludwig sat up a bit and looked at the other. "Of course, don't be silly." He then understood what Feli was referring to. "There's something in the news about the reward?"

The other nodded at this. "You said you wanted to know who killed me so that justice could be served. See, I don't think justice was on the menu, maybe as a side dish, but not the entrée."

"It was most definitely an entrée, it was a special of the day- can we drop the metaphor? I wouldn't have known you died if it wasn't for the reward."

"When were you going to tell me?"

"In the morning or when it came up- whichever didn't come first."

Feliciano frowned a bit and tugged on the bottom of the pajama shirt that he borrowed from the blond. "$50,000: that makes a lot of pie."

"$25,000: I have a business partner." This reply caught the brunet's attention.

"What, it's a business?"

"Not in a traditional sense…" Ludwig mumbled.

"You touch murder victims, you ask who killed them, you touch them again, and they go back to being dead and you collect their reward?"

"That's it in a nutshell."

Feliciano frowned once again, not liking it took much but he knew that this is what Ludwig did. "So, you after my reward? I'm not mad at you, I just want to know. I'll be mad at you if you lie to me, though."

"I don't want you reward."

A small smile formed on the other's lips. "I'll be so mad if you're lying, you'll have me scratching at the drapes."

This reply put a bit a of a smile on Ludwig's own lips. "I'm not lying. Please don't attack the window treatments."

"Okay. Go back to sleep." Feliciano smiled and headed to the room. But he could not sleep, he turned to face the wall he knew that Ludwig was on the other side of and placed his hand on it, not know that Ludwig was doing the exact same thing.

* * *

The next morning, Feliciano woke up and noticed that there was a Post-It note on the bedside lamp, telling him to not leave the apartment. He smiled at this and got up. After a while, and wearing one of Ludwig's overcoats, a scarf and sunglasses, he leaves the apartment just as Francis leaves his own.

They both freeze at the sight of one another, to which Feliciano speaks first. "I'm a friend of Ludwig's."

Francis just looks at him "Does he touch you?"

Meanwhile, downstairs in The Pie Hole, Ludwig and Gilbert were sitting in one of the booths as the usually do. "So how was the service?" Gilbert asked, seeing that Ludwig had a lot on his mind at the moment.

"Y'know, just paid my respects."

Gilbert frowned and raised an eyebrow, looking at his partner with suspicion. "You weren't looking to get paid? Might see a dead man speaking to you in confidence as an opportunity to make a whole lot of money by your lonesome, regardless of prior arrangements?"

"There's no opportunity here." At that moment, the door of the restaurant opened and while Francis walks to the counter, Feli decides to slide into the booth next to Gilbert, smiling at the red-eyed man.

"Are you the business partner?" Gilbert looked at the other, his eyebrow raising.

"Yes sir." He replied as Francis walked over.

"Found him upstairs. Doesn't he look an awful lot like that dead guy?" Francis asked as he looked at those at the table and Gilbert narrowed his eyes, knowing exactly what Ludwig did.

"He looks _exactly_ like that dead guy."

Francis turned to Feliciano and smiled at him. "You should take that as a compliment: he was pretty." As Feliciano smiled at the compliment, Ludwig turned to his employee.

"Pie time."

To which Francis repeated, in a flat tone of course. Once Francis was away and gone, Feliciano began to speak. "I've been ruminating- and by ruminating, I mean pondering, no chewing cud- how about we solve my murder and collect the reward? Wouldn't that be poetic? Certainly an anecdote."

Gilbert looked at Ludwig, who swallowed a lump in his throat at the stare. "He's suppose to be in the ground."

Ludwig chose to not reply to the man in front of him, instead he turned to Feliciano. "I thought you didn't want the reward."

"No, I didn't want _you_ not to want the reward." Feliciano defended himself as he looked at his childhood crush. "$50,000, that's a lot of money. Three-way split? 30-30-40? It's only fair that I get more: I did die for it."

"I'm not a detective: I make pies." Ludwig stated, not liking this idea of Feli's.

"You can't just touch somebody's life and be done with it."

"Yes, I can: that's how I roll."

Gilbert shrugged, liking the idea of Dead Boy helping them with this thing, as long as he got paid. "I could do 30-30-40."

Ludwig turned to him. "He's suppose to be dead-" then turning to Feli, "You're suppose to be _dead_! This is pushing your luck."

"Yeah, well, luck pushed me first."

* * *

"It's just so shockingly stupid, I have a hard time believing you did it." Gilbert spoke as he looked at Ludwig who was currently working on making a pie.

"You just agreed to be his partner." Ludwig argued, failing at it due to Gilbert's response.

"Oh, I intend to profit from your stupidity. Are you in love with him? 'Cause it's that level of stupid."

That just made Ludwig feel guilty for what he did, though he liked having Feliciano around. "I'll admit to being confused: it's very confusing time- childhood issues, digging into dirt- (to which with this statement, Aster looked up at him and whined) It's all coming up."

"Y'know what, we all have childhood issues, okay?" Gilbert spoke vehemently. "Believe me, I got the full subscription. Horror stories!"

"I kinda killed his dad when I was ten."

Gilbert paused and looked at the other. "Maybe not horror stories…"

Ludwig sighed as he looked down at the counter. "He doesn't know. But I want to make it better or different that what it was, because what it was was his dead I didn't want that to be my fault, too."

"Well, who died instead?" Gilbert asked, but his question was answered when Ludwig handed him the newspaper, its headline reading 'Inexplicable Dead at Funeral Home' with a photo of Kim Yong Soo included.

"It's a random proximity thing." Ludwig bit his lip at the glare he was getting.

"Bitch, I was in proximity."

"I wasn't thinking."

Gilbert decided to look back at the newspaper. "I wondered what happened to him."

Ludwig decided to answer that for him. "He was a very, very bad man: he stole stuff off dead people and sold it on the Internet. It's all in the obituary."

The albino snorted at this and spoke in a sarcastic tone. "Oh, that's nice: the fact that he was a 'very, very bad man' makes you feel better about what you did?"

"Yes. Immensely. I would've felt horrible if it was… you, for example." To which Gilbert responded by smacking Ludwig upside the head with the paper. "I'm not proud!" Ludwig said in his defense.

"Y'know what? I'm glad you did it. Makes the worst thing I did seem insignificant." Gilbert smirked a bit and Ludwig rolled his eyes.

"Listen to you: all judgy-judge."

"'Judgy-judge'? Look, you don't know anything about this boy except that he got himself killed."

"I'm not who you think I am." The two men turned to see that Feliciano was looking at them.

"Who does he think you are?" Gilbert asked as Feliciano walked over to them.

"The small town boy who never saw the world only to have his first time out be his last- well, that is who I am, but I was hoisted by my own petard!"

Ludwig blinked. "What's a petard?"

"In my case, the petard is that Tahitian getaway: it was a devil's bargain."

"Who's the devil?" Gilbert questioned.

"Deedee Duffield, manager of Boutique Travel Travel Boutique. She offered me a high-seas adventure at no cost: all I had to do was pick up a package."

"Are you a drug mule?" Ludwig asked and Feliciano shook his head.

"No! I'm a… monkey mule." He blushed lightly and the two other men blinked.

_And these are the monkeys in question. _

Feliciano was given a silver briefcase that contained nothing more then two plaster monkeys, this being what the brunet told the two PIs before him in the kitchen.

"You died for a pair of plaster monkeys?" Ludwig was a bit dumbfounded at this, seeing as it seemed like a rather stupid reason to be killed for.

The boy named Feli nodded. "Deedee said they weren't worth much: their only value was sentimental."

"Those must've been some emotional monkeys." Gilbert rolled his eyes.

"You should ask Deedee about all of this: I'm very curious as to what she has to say."

* * *

_Boutique Travel Travel Boutique manager Deedee Duffield hoped the $50,000 reward would catch a killer before a killer caught her. The reward fell short of achieving its desired goal._

The three men had opened the door to the travel agency, hoping to find Deedee. They did, but with the pink, happy face bag over her head, it was pretty obvious that the killer had gotten to her before they did.

"Oh." Ludwig was the first to speak as he looked at the woman and Feliciano frowned a little.

"So I guess I can't be too mad at her. Is that how they found me?" He grimaced at the thought. "It's humiliating."

"I wonder how long she's been here." Ludwig stated as he walked over to the desk and Gilbert rolled his eyes.

"Touch the poor bitch and ask her." He informed The Pie Maker, who turned to look at Feliciano who was smiling at him and he returned the smile with a sheepish one.

"I'm sort of embarrassed to do it in front of you." Feliciano just smiled playfully and put his hands to his face, peeking out of his fingers a bit and watched as Ludwig started his watched and touched the woman once the bag was removed.

Deedee came to with a start and looked right up at Feli with a smile. "Hey, Feliciano!" She greeted cheerfully, to which Feliciano's reply wasn't as cheerful.

"Hey, Deedee!"

"Now how'd I know you'd be the first person I see when I got to, uh-" She looked around, confused. "Is this-? Which one is this?"

"This isn't either: well, maybe it's both. Listen, this is the deal: you get to talk for like a minute, we're gonna catch up, and then you're not talking anymore." He told her and she smiled at him.

"Does everyone get to do this? 'Cause, girl, we got to break it down…"

"Did you know I was gonna get killed?" Feliciano asked, interrupting the woman.

She nodded at the brunet. "I thought there might be the possibility, yes, I'm real sorry about that, I probably should've said something. But to be honest- and really, why not are this point?- if it was safe, I would've done it myself." Deedee then smiled once more. "God, this is fantastic: being honest is fun!"

Gilbert was not getting annoyed and turned to Feli. "Ask her who killed her and you and what's with the monkeys."

Deedee blinked and looked at the two other men. "Who're those people?"

Feliciano looked at Gilbert indifferently. "That's Gilbert, I don't really know him." He then turned to Ludwig and looked at him sweetly. "And this is Ludwig: he was my first kiss." This made the blond blush a bit.

The woman smiled up at Ludwig. "You're adorable! Look at-!" The moment she pinched his cheek, she died and Ludwig moved back in horror.

Gilbert looked at him, the smile he wore was that of being peeved. "You couldn't have… scooted back a little?"

Ludwig shook his head. "I didn't know she was going to touch my cheek: who does that?"

"Actually, she does that a lot." Feliciano replied sheepishly.

The albino looked down at the brunet. "All right, why would whoever killed you, kill her when he already got his monkeys?"  
"I dropped my room key in the ice maker: he couldn't get into my room."

Ludwig nodded at this. "He doesn't have the monkeys."

"When you get murdered on a boat, where do they send your things?" Feliciano asked, with Gilbert giving him the answer:

"Your next of kin."

* * *

That next of kin happened to be Feli's aunts who were sitting in their home, unaware that there was a killer on the loose or the fact that their dead nephew was out in a car outside of the house with two men, alive and well.

"You stay here." Ludwig told Feliciano as they got ready to get to the house.

"I just want to look in the window." Feli pouted a bit but Ludwig shook his head.

"You can't: you can have your pie but you can't eat it, that's the way it works."

"Y'all making me hungry." Gilbert mumbled.

"I was supposed to keep them sane and I left: I'd just die if anything happened to them," Feliciano thought about what he just said, "I mean I'd die again."

"We'll make sure your aunts are safe and then we'll call the police. I wish I could give you an emotional Heimlich so you could cough up that wad of fear and anxiety, but I can't." Ludwig sighed and turned to Gilbert. "Give her a hug." Gilbert does so, reluctantly and awkwardly. "That was from me." Ludwig smiled a bit before getting out.

_Aunt Elizabeta and Aunt Katsuya were all that Feli had, and before Feli, all they had were each other. While still in their teens, they made a name for themselves as "The Darling Mermaid Darlings". Many, many, __many__ years later, still holding onto their fading glory as underwater artistes, their lives were changed forever, when Elizabeta, while cleaning the litter box, got dirty cat sand in her eye. Not only did she lose her eye, but The Darling Mermaid Darlings lost their careers. They retreated behind a fence and made sure the world stayed on the other side._

Ludwig walked up to the front door, took a nervous breath, and knocked on the door.

There was a quiet and timid response from the other side of the door. "Hello?"

"Hi, my name is Ludwig; I lived next door twenty years ago. I'm a – I was a friend of Feli's – Feliciano's, rather." A moment later, the door opened and Ludwig looked at Katsuya, the nice blonde of the two Vargas sisters.

She smiled at him. "Please come in, please!" She walked Ludwig, and Gilbert who had followed, into the sitting room where Elizabeta sat, a martini glass in her hand. Soon they started to speak of Feliciano.

"Feliciano was a firecracker: always trying to get us out of the house. Threatened to bake anti-depressants into our food: got to the point I was scared to eat anything he cooked."

"He was a good cook and a nice boy." Katsuya then turned to Ludwig. "Do you like nice boys?"

Ludwig blushed a bit and nodded at this. "Yes, ma'am."

Katsuya nodded and looked at Gilbert who wasn't really looking at any of them, he was a bit pissy at the moment. "Didn't want to assume." Referring to Gilbert's attitude compared to Feli's. "Feliciano was a nice boy..."

"... With the exception of puberty." Elizabeta added on as she took a drink.

"... Which unfortunately was when Feliciano was going through a change of life."

The brunette sister glared at the blond on with her one eye. "Impolite to discuss a person's menopause in mixed company."

"It nearly killed me."

Elizabeta decided to move on with the original subject at hand. "Horrible the way Feliciano died: on a cruise. Last days spent surrounded by middle-aged, overweight women who wear sweatshirts with things sewn to them.

"... Usually kittens made of felt."

"Food is perfectly atrocious. Unless he enjoyed vomiting and diarrhea, I can't imagine he had a good, last meal."

"Good, last meal can go a long way: our penal system makes a point of it." Gilbert responded to Elizabeta's comment.

Katsuya sighed softly. "It's nice he had a little glimpse of the world before he died."

"Eh, the world isn't that great." Elizabeta replied, taking another drink.

"Well, at least he had the good sense not to fly: airplanes fall out of the sky every day!" Elizabeta stops, annoyed with her sister's ditziness; oblivious, Katsuya hands a cracker to Gilbert. "Cheese? I would recommend the pure goat with blue ash: it has a grassy flavor."

Taking a bit, Gilbert nodded. "It does have a grassy flavor."

Katsuya smiled at this. "It's delicious with Feliciano's honey. You haven't lived 'til you've tasted his honey! The homeless love it!" Suddenly, the sound of a dog barking alerted Ludwig, who turned with just enough time to see that Feli had been peaking through the windows and watched him run off, making the blond turn to the aunts.

"Not to change the subject, but has the cruise line returned his belongings? Specifically, a stainless steel briefcase?"

* * *

_Feliciano couldn't remember why he was so desperate to leave this life behind: he missed his aunts, he missed his bees, she missed everything she was. _

Carefully and quietly, Feliciano was able to sneak into his old bedroom through his window and smiled as he looked around at the room he grew up in, located in the house he grew up in.

_Smuggling monkeys put an end to his life. Feliciano didn't want to be remembered as the "Lonely Tourist": he wanted to be remembered as something sweeter. _

He jolted when he heard footsteps and decided to hide out on the balcony outside of his room. Elizabeta walked into the room, noticing that the door for the balcony were opened and just shut them before picking up the suitcase that was on the bed, only to be strangled by the man in black as she left the room.

_Unaware of Elizabeta's fate upstairs, The Pie Maker did his best to comfort Katsuya._

The blonde woman sighed softly. "Feliciano always wanted to get away. Got away further than any of us thought…" She looked so sad and Ludwig frowned.

_In a rare moment of sensitivity, he reached out and touched her._

Ludwig reached out, placing his hand on hers, and she froze up. The expression on her face was that of horror.

…_Not realizing that she didn't like being touched._

With that reaction, Ludwig pulled his hand away. "I'll go see if she needs help bringing it down." He stated, wanting to get away from what just happened that made him uncomfortable. He spotted the briefcase on the table and went to get it, only to be the man in black's next victim.

As he strangled the blond baker, the man in black didn't realize that Feli stood behind him, hitting him hard with the suitcase and making his drop Ludwig. Turning, he look right at Feliciano and blinked, confused.

"Didn't I kill you?" Suddenly, the cocking of a shot gun was heard and the three turned to see Elizabeta standing in the doorway to a room, a shot gun aimed right at the killer.

"I can hold my breath for a long time." Was all she said as she pulled the trigger, hitting the killer. The blast then sent the man right through the window that was behind him and on to the ground below.

_The jig appeared to be up: Aunt Elizabeta was looking directly at her nephew, her nephew who wasn't supposed to be alive. And if she possessed two good eyes, she would've seen him._

It seems that because Feliciano was standing on the side of Elizabeta's vision where she couldn't see, it was as if the boy wasn't there right across from The Pie Maker, who watched as the boy he loved make his escape.

_A rush of warmth washed over The Pie Maker: he would later describe this feeling as delight. The boy whom he rescued from the death had returned the favor. _

Walking over to the broken window, Ludwig looked down to see Feliciano run over to the dead killer before and give him a really good kick, before getting a thumbs up.

* * *

The reporter on the news spoke about the events which occurred. _'Fo__rmer mermaids, Darling Mermaid Darlings, defeated a deadly home invader who may have a connection to the smuggling murder of their nephew, Lonely Tourist Feliciano Vargas. When asked about a Darling Mermaid Darlings reunion, the sisters mentioned a benefit performance to support "Honey for the Homeless" was in the works.'_

Outside of The Pie Hole, Ludwig sat on a bench with Feliciano sitting on the other side, both pleased with the events that had happened and just them being alone like this together.

Feliciano smiled a bit and looked from the road to the man next to him. "Was this really an act of kindness? Me, here? Were you really trying to do something good for no other reason to help me?"

"I was being selfish." Ludwig replied, causing Feliciano's smile to die. "I'd love to tell myself I was being unselfish, but I know deep down in my primal sweet spot I was being unselfish for selfish reasons. I just thought my world would be a better place if you were in it."

The smaller boy smiled at the unselfish selfishness. "Is there anything else I should know?"

_The Pie Maker wanted to tell Feliciano about that fateful afternoon when he inadvertently killed his father, but instead, he said: _

"No." Ludwig simply smiled.

Feliciano smiled a bit and picked up one of the monkeys. "Well, I figured since it cost me my life, I should get to keep at least one. And seeing as I wouldn't be alive if it weren't for you…" He handed the other to the man next to him. "I want you to have the other one."

"It's like those little half-heart pendants except with monkeys." Ludwig chuckled and Feli smiled at him.

"Thanks for bringing me back to life."

"You're welcome." They bring the monkey they each held and hand them kiss, but Ludwig held his monkey a bit, testing it's weight. "Oh, these are heavy…"

The both pause and look at one another, each smiling. They took the monkeys and hit them together, the plaster breaking in the process and revealing that the monkeys were made of solid gold.

_The monkeys' value was significantly more than sentimental: they were golden. _

_The man who killed Feliciano was killed by Aunt Elizabeta._

It was a beautiful and bright sunny day, the two sisters walked from the porch of their home to the gate, smiling at one another and having their arms linked as they walked right out the gates and into the world.

_After collecting the $50,000 reward, Katsuya and Elizabeta had a renewed interest in the world on the other side of their fence: they retreated from their retreat and took the plunge._

_Gilbert Beilschmidt was plunged into something else altogether: a three-way split.  
_

The albino rolled his eyes as he looked at the two others that were in the morgue with him. Ludwig stood by the table where the victim was and Feliciano, disguised as a girl by wearing a dress, stood near him.

"Y'know this whole thing is sort of like reincarnation but more immediate." The brunet boy commented

"Sort of." Ludwig nodded.

Feliciano turned to look at Gilbert who looked at him; his expression was that of annoyance. "Do you believe in reincarnation?" Feli asked.

Gilbert continued to give him a look. "Hell, no. The planet's falling apart: right now, it's the children's problem, we reincarnate, it's our problem." Suddenly the door opened and the coroner from before entered. "Afternoon."

The coroner ignored him and looked at Feliciano. "You the toxicologist?"

"Yes." He lied.

The other brunet male turned to look at Ludwig and raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you the dog expert?"

Ludwig's eye twitched. "No."

"Mmm-hmm." The coroner gave them each a look before leaving. Ludwig then started the timer of his watch and touched the body.

_The facts were these: one Matthew Miltinberger, 37 years, 6 hours and 45 minutes old, was found stabbed to death in a public restroom. _

"Hi." Ludwig said to the man.

_Before Mr. Miltinberger could get into the specifics of his demise, Feliciano thought it would be nice to ask:_

"Do you have any last words or thoughts or requests?"

Gilbert gives Feliciano and annoyed look and Ludwig blinked, making Feliciano blink as well. "What?" The boy asked.

"Just something I never thought to ask." Ludwig smiled and in return received one from Feliciano.

_As he stared at him, he reached around and held his own hand, pretending he was holding his. And at that very moment, he was pretending to be holding his._

TBC

* * *

Twenty-six pages… that's the longest thing I have ever written… please be nice and review and you might get to see more!

Next chapter: A supposed hit-and-run case turns out to be more then just that when the victim claims he was killed by a crash test dummy.

Please review, if you do then I will update quickly.


End file.
